30.12.12

Venting out

30.12.12
Pardon me for all the drama lately. It’s just that I really want to vent out my feelings in here. I’m just so stressed out, confused these past days and I really don’t know what to do or how to deal with the things that had happened to me several days back, that have caused me so much pain. It seems that I’m just all alone and there’s no one out there to confide to.

I’m constantly asking myself why is it so hard to be genuinely happy? I thought I would be happier if someone would come along. The perfect person that you could share your ups and downs in life with, and the one that could make things much easier for you, but what I’ve felt at this very moment is the exact opposite. I thought I would finally have the chance to feel the thing that I’m longing to feel for quite some time now, however, it’s the other way around. It’s definitely heart-breaking to realize that all he’d uttered weren’t really for real, and I already have accepted the fact that all of my sacrifices just to make everything work won’t really pay-off. I just hate this feeling and it’s torturing me. I want to cry my heart out just to ease the pain inside me. I feel sorry for myself for being this vulnerable and for being such a hopeless romantic type of girl.

I know in God’s perfect time, this too shall pass. I know moving on won’t just happen overnight but I believe I can do this. It wouldn’t be that easy but I have to be strong and just always believe that everything happens for a reason. I know God will unveil it to me at the right time. I’m looking forward to the day wherein I will no longer have a hard time wearing a smile on my face, and can genuinely tell the world that I’m truly happy and have moved on.

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